Loved

To my son on his second birthday.

Sweet Z-man,

I do not know when you will first read this love letter. If you grow into a young man who treasures sentiment, then I suppose you will find this while you are still a boy. If you become a young man more grounded in logic, then perhaps I will wait until you leave home before sharing this...it is too soon to tell. Regardless of the ifs and whens, I want you to know this one absolute truth.

You have always been loved. ALWAYS.

When you measured less than an inch in length and weighed just .04 ounces, you were loved.

When a flickering image of your sprinkle-sized heart appeared on a monitor, you were loved.

When Supreme court justices, lawmakers, and the opinions of many deemed you as nothing more than a blob of tissue, you were loved.

When you somersaulted and danced inside my belly, you were loved.

When you tossed my plans aside to arrive more than three-weeks early to meet me, I was overjoyed because, you were loved.

When you cried each time I gently placed you down in your bassinet, you were loved.

When I felt overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, you were loved.

When you gulped my milk and nestled your head against my collarbone, you were loved.

When you woke me up from sleep two or more times a night, you were loved.

When I stole your first kiss, you were loved.

When you bit my shoulder has hard as your teeth could clamp closed, you were loved.

When you took your first steps, you were loved.

When I said the words, “shake your booty” and with a smile, you complied, you were loved.

When you inhaled bites of your first birthday cake, you were loved.

When I raised my voice in anger, you were loved.

When you learned how to tickle, you were loved.

When you narrowed your eyes, tightened your jaw, and adamantly shouted, “no” for the first time as well as time 3,000...you were loved.

When you cried out the words, “Mommy...I sick!” You were loved.

When you threw a ball toward me and said, “catch,” you were loved.

When you head butted my stomach in an attempt to wrestle, you were loved.

When you insisted on wearing your “ooo-ooo-uhh-uhh” (monkey) jammies, you were loved.

When you threw your dinner plate on the floor in protest because I would not allow you to eat a cupcake for dinner, you were loved.

When you writhed on the ground screaming because of an injury, you were loved.

When you squealed in laughter, you were loved.

When you sang opera with Elmo, made animal noises with Diego, and tried to sound out words with animated lions, you were loved.

As I write this letter just twelve hours before your second birthday I know with certainty that I have loved you...wholeheartedly, unabashedly, unapologetically, loved you...adored you...since the day I discovered your existence.

No matter what struggles lie ahead and regardless of what decisions you make, I will always love you. And, I will forever be thankful that God created you to be my son.

Happy Birthday my delightful Z-man.

To read Z-man's first birthday post, click here.