I Want Less

It's a new decade, but I've been thinking a lot about the previous one...mostly the beginning of the previous one. Ten years ago I was a new wife with a list of wants larger than Manute Bol's wingspan. *

Whenever I looked down at the three sparkling, yet small by my standards at that time, diamonds on my engagement ring I thought about how I'd like an upgrade by my tenth anniversary. I was ready to trade in my white gold for platinum and more than double my caret weight.

I loved every minute of our Jamaica honeymoon, but kept thinking about the luxurious accommodations we would occupy once we returned.

Instead of fostering a heart of thankfulness for shelter, clothing, and modern conveniences, I wanted more. I sighed disgruntled when I walked into my small apartment in an old run down building. I wanted a house...a large house adorned with beautiful furniture, no more hand-me-downs. I also tired of counting pennies at the grocery store and dreamed that one day I would fill my kitchen with fine wines, cheeses, and gourmet ingredients. Only the best.

My wants numbered many and each one labeled justified. I rationalized that a large home with fine foods would enable me to demonstrate hospitality toward others. It wasn't just a want, it was a need. As far as that extravagant anniversary trip and two-caret princess cut ring...those were items that I deserved. After all, financially and emotionally supporting one's spouse as he earns his PhD is not for the faint of heart.

Ten years ago, I wanted more. Today, I want less.

Less stuff. Less to trip over, less to manage, less to fret about, less to want...less to waste time wanting.

Less drama. Less conflict. Less schedule management. Less stress.

Less of me. Less insecurities. Less worrying about whether or not I measure up to the standards of others. Less time spent agonizing over how others (ahem) *make* me feel.

Less wanting. Less of trying to have the perfect life. Less of trying to make the perfect impression. Less conforming. Less wondering how to get more from others.

Less. I want less so that I can be more...be whole..be active in living...in giving...in loving.

I want less.

*For those of you unfamiliar with basketball trivia, Manute Bol was a former NBA center with an 8ft 6in wing span, the largest in NBA history

Distilling Love

As I headed out of the kitchen, trash bag in hand, my load suddenly felt lighter and my feet felt wet and sticky. Jabs of pain radiated down my thigh.

Earlier that day I had hastily tossed a broken wire hanger into the trash can. I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently the metal stick landed in just the right spot to tear open the bag and simultaneously gash my leg.

I stood surveying the stinky mess that blanketed the floor I had scrubbed two hours prior. What was once pristine was covered in filth.

In that moment I did a lot of futile wishing.

I wished that I had never thrown that hanger away.

I wished that my leg wasn't throbbing.

I even wished that my name was Carol Brady and that a trusty housekeeper named Alice would clean up the mess for me.

But none of my wishing altered my reality. There was a big ugly mess on my kitchen floor and I was responsible for cleaning it up.

As I examine my life, I can recall many messes made in the corridors of my heart, spirit, and mind. Like the gunky monstrosity caused by the broken trash bag, some of my messes were created by my negligence, sins, and mistakes.

-----Please visit me here to finish reading this story and to learn more about the hope that exists for cleaning up life's ugliest messes.

Lord, Lord - A Lesson In Obedience

This is the final One Time Blind skit I am planning to share...this one also struck a personal chord with me. Blessings, Angela

The Stool - One Time Blind

This One Time Blind skit was a little too close for comfort for me...ouch! Anyone else relate?

Pressure Washing - Guest Post

(Today I welcome the lovely Dee-Dee Warren from the blog, DeeDee's: I Have no Greater Joy. Her post below is an excellent example of how a little bit of sin can add up to a whole lot of ugly.)

Pressure Washing

My husband and son have recently pressured-washed our home. It is a white vinyl house with green shudders. Because of the water-restrictions in our city for the last year and half (or so), and because we needed to clean it before the restrictions, the white house was GREEN. I forgot to take pictures. That probably is a good thing. I do not think I really would want proof of how bad it looked.


But can I just tell you how good it looks now? Clean. White. Fresh. Washed.


So, how did they clean it? First, they used bleach. Lots of it. Then they used the pressure-washers to wash off all of the mold/mildew/green stuff. On one side of our house, it is actually three stories high. The son climbed that ladder. He is a trooper and has no fear. It was good that I was not home that day. I am not sure I could have watched him on that high ladder, OR the husband on the roof of the front porch washing the front of the house. They did such a good job. Bleach, high pressure with water, and lots of hard work. Wonderful results.


So, how does it get there? How does it get that bad? Negligence. Just a little bit at a time. Over an extended period of time. Not really noticeable for a while. And then all of a sudden – it is real bad. Really obvious.


Just like we are.


Little sins are usually not very noticeable. And then one day you see the results. How did it get this bad? Just a little “yes” that should have been a “no” – one at a time – over an extended period of time. All of a sudden it is a REAL problem.


Now, it (our sin) is easier to take care of on an on-going basis. But I am afraid that does not always happen. And if neglected – then it is time for a ‘pressure-washing’ of our own.


Apply the Word. Lots of it. Dive in and stay there till you have answers. Acknowledge the sin for what it is. Then allow the power of the Holy Spirit to help you cleanse the whole being.


"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps 139:23-24)


"If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9)


"Come now, and let us reason together, saith Jehovah: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. " (Isaiah 1:18)


Confession is good for the soul.


Cleansing is good. For the outside of a home. For the inside of the soul.

Blessings,
DeeDee

Can Christians Do That????

My life may be a bit too chaotic for me to sit down and write intelligibly at the present time, but I do still possess enough Bloggity Mojo** to encourage discussion.


(** I may or may not have invented that term...but I'm guessing I saw it elsewhere and forgot where, I'm not that witty...if I stole it from you, please forgive my unintentional plagiarism)


These are a few light videos that I think hit home some excellent points. I'd love to read your thoughts. Each video is about 30 seconds long.


Blessings to you, and if you think about it...I'd welcome prayers for me and my family as we begin our travels tomorrow morning.


- Angela

Updated: Lessons Learned From The Daniel Fast: Prologue

(Update: This post is an intro to a series of sorts I will be doing about a fast that I actually completed 2 weeks ago. I learned so much that it will take a few blog posts to share my experiences. On 4/24/09 I will be having minor outpatient surgery and hope to continue this series next week. Blessings to you all, and many thanks for the sweet encouragement and feedback. Angela)

Less than four weeks before this past Easter, I began contemplating the idea of fasting. I researched different types of fasts. One modeled after Daniel's diet (Daniel 1: 8-14 and 10: 2,3), aptly titled The Daniel Fast, struck me as both doable and meaningful. After spending some time in prayer, I felt it best to proceed, but I was still timid about the process and wanted a partner.

Since The Professor was not interested in fasting with me, I sent out some feelers via Facebook. I think I wrote something along these lines: “I'm considering a Daniel Fast, please tell me I am crazy and should put the thought out of my mind!” Just kidding. I actually mentioned the idea and that was all...but deep in my heart I had hoped that someone would write me and ask if I wanted a partner. And someone did.

Mrs. Sidney from Mommy Accountability, whom I have never met in person yet still consider a friend, told me that she was on board to fast along with me (God had already been prompting her about fasting). It was at that time when I slammed on the brakes and politely brought the words I. am. considering. to the forefront. I took three more days to pray about it because limiting my food intake is a huge deal for me, and you'll understand why shortly in the next installment.

Once I felt that God was directing this step in my life, I wrote down my reasons for fasting and my plan of action.

Reasons to Fast

• Obedience to God

• Empathy for those with far less

• Spiritual Growth

Areas of Concern

• Pride

• Allowing weight loss to creep in as a motivator

Food & Time Frame

• Abstain from all sweets/junk food, bread, and dairy products

• Drink only water

• Eat only fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains and oats.

• Small portions (about 800- 500 calories a day)

• Continue the fast for 21 days.

I then received some helpful ideas and encouragement from Mrs. Sidney and eagerly began my journey to what I was certain was going be a mountaintop experience of growth and renewal. Although I learned a lot during the twenty-one days that followed, the lessons were not easy.

I'll be sharing them soon.

Healthy Transparency-WFMW- Best Of Edition

Foreword: When I learned that Kristen from We Are That Family, was taking over the hosting of Works For Me Wednesday, I wanted to join in on Becoming Me. And I mean no disrespect toward the previous host and WFMW founder, Shannon from Rocks In My Dryer. I think she is a lovely person. It's just that I started reading Kristen's blog a few weeks after it launched last year. We were both newbies in the blogosphere and she even once referred to me as precious...and she added me to her feeder...and then her blog roll...I felt honored. So knowing that her blog has grown from 50 subscribers to 1000+ (I'm guessing here) thrills me, because she truly makes a positive impact on others. Now on to my post.

Healthy Transparency

One of the best lessons I have learned as a human being, Christian, and blogger, is to engage in a healthy level of transparency. By this I mean to be open about who I am...imperfections and all, when the timing is appropriate. I do believe this fits into the “Best of” edition, because my life changed dramatically when I accepted my status as an imperfect person, and allowed Christ to use my weaknesses for His glory.

Many of you know that I am a recovering perfectionist. Many of you also know that in October of 2007, while in the throes of my second battle with Postpartum Mood Disorders, I experienced a clinical nervous breakdown. What many of you do not know is that the crux of that breakdown included a type of mind-out-of-body experience. I have never felt terror greater than realizing that I was so messed up, that I could not make rational healthy decisions.

Funny thing is that before I hit that rock at the bottom of a deep dark pit, not many people knew that I was suffering. And those who did know were not privy to the extent of my misery. They did not know that I loathed every fiber of my being. They did not know that I could barely breathe when I entered a grocery store. They did know that I stood in my laundry room for twenty-three minutes one night holding my baby boy and sobbing as I tried to plan how I could somehow run far, far away. They did not know that when I narrowly avoided a head-on collision with a tractor trailer, that I started crying, not in gratitude , but in sadness, because a hit like that probably would have ended my (in my mind at that time) pitiful life.

No one knew the whole truth, because I felt like a failure, and I was so deeply ashamed. You see, when I first became pregnant more than five years ago, I had dreams. And in those dreams I was the perfect mom. Trust me...June Cleaver....she had nothing on the type of mother I envisioned myself becoming. June was fine...but me...oh, I was going to be PERFECT. And when I discovered that I lived about 30 million miles from perfect, I decided to pretend, because I didn't want to let go of that dream.

Rough times. But after my breakdown, I had a breakthrough (thanks to a fabulous Christian counselor, the proper doses of medication, and a loving support system of family and friends). It was during this breakthrough when I discovered the depths of Christ's love for me. It was also when I truly accepted that the quest for excellence and the desire for perfection were two totally different items. Additionally, I gripped the truth that perfection was not going to be obtained on this side of Heaven, but that there are few things more beautiful than a flawed woman hanging, with all her strength, onto the robe of Jesus and allowing Him to heal her...reshape her...teach her...and refine her.

After I learned those lessons, I wanted to share them with others. But during times of prayer and Bible study, I knew that this message coming from me would seem hollow unless I was willing to let my guard down and become transparent. I couldn't still pretend I was a "miss-perfect-goody-too-shoes" and expect anyone to trust me.

Transparency comes with many risks. There are probably some reading this with judgment. Sometimes I'll share my PPD story or other every day struggles and people will thank me. Other times, I'll share and in return receive awkward glances and smirks. It is a risk. But whenever I read an e-mail from someone telling me that she read my PPD posts and decided that it was time to get help....I know the risk was worth taking.

Before I close, I do want to list a few tips about being transparent, because there is a chasm between letting it all hang out and healthy, Biblically-inspired transparency.

• Pray before you share.

• Never share intimate details about your life with a complete stranger unless you are either in a crisis situation (such as a victim of an assault) or clearly prompted by the Holy Spirit (no blogging is a bit different...by complete stranger, I mean sharing extremely personally information with someone only minutes or hours after shaking her hand.

• Do not feel pressured into sharing.

• Do not share personal details about another person, or details about your life that could damage a relationship you have with another person.

• Use caution. Transparency does not mean full disclosure. For example, Beth Moore has shared that has struggled with some serious sin issues...but she does not list all of those issues. Although I share openly about my battles with PPMD, there are some aspects that I still keep private...not because of pride, but because I think that sharing those details would cause more harm than good. If I disclose too many specifics it could lead someone to think, “Phew...I didn't do anything that bad, so I don't think I need help.” Or it could cause someone to think, “Well, that is pretty terrible, but that is not nearly as bad as what I have done, so I must be beyond help.”

• Lastly, be prepared to listen to the feedback you receive when sharing...often times God calls us to transparency to reveal His glory to others so that they can place their hope in Him.

There is more than can be written about transparency, but the above works for me.

To read an example of a mildly transparent post from me, please visit 5 Minutes for Faith sometime today.

To read more WFMW, visit We Are That Family.

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hewbrews 10:23-25 NLT

A Custom Give Away and Letter To Me Before I Became A Mom

Read this post all the way through to find out how you can win a bookmark like the one pictured above.

Dear Thirty-Year-Old Me,

In two weeks, you will finally meet that precious baby girl nestled inside you. Yes, your instinct is correct, she will arrive a week early even though the consensus from your family and friends is that all baby girls come late. I know that the barrage unsolicited advice weighs heavy on your heart elevating seemingly inextinguishable levels of fear. People mean well. And the reason why there is so much differing advice from so many is simply because one way does not work for everyone.

You are familiar with the term Postpartum Depression (PPD), but you don't quite understand what it means. Not many people do and the name alone perpetuates confusion. In reality, PPD is just one type of a Perinatal Mood Disorder, and pregnant women can be effected as well. You are one of those pregnant women, and you aren't feeling depressed, but you are experiencing extreme anxiety and at the same time are being held captive by thoughts that do not seem to be a part of you.

Let me make a few things perfectly clear. You are not crazy. You are not a monster. And you are not alone. You. Are. Not. Alone. Please talk to your midwife about your symptoms. She won't try to take your baby, she won't doubt your love for your baby, and she won't label you an unfit mother. She will want to help you. She will understand. And as much as it pains me to write this, there won't be many who will understand you...not in 2004. But there is support available for you. And one day, you will lend your voice to offer comfort to those who will walk in your shoes.

So when your pink and sweet little girl comes into the world, be gentle with yourself. Do not let shame keep you from taking the medication you need to get well. Love that little baby with the best of your ability, but quickly accept the truth that you cannot be everything to her. It's not your job to be...that job belongs to her Creator, the Almighty God. And He, dear one, chose you to be her mother. Please read that line again and again until it sinks deep into your marrow. You were chosen. And since He does not make mistakes, trust that He will be with you as you mother. Unclasp the fists that clench guilt and fear, and cling to the hem of Christ's garment. He will give you His strength, His love, His patience, and His resolve. And because of Him, you will make it.

With love,

The mother of a five-year-old spunky girl and an almost two-year-old mellow fellow

(AKA – You at age 35)

Ephesians 1:16-20 (New Living Translation)

I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty

power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.

HOW TO WIN ONE OF THESE:

Thank you for reading my series of letters. As you know, in each letter I encouraged my younger self to spend more time in God's word. That is why today, Amy Humphrey from U*R* Unique is giving a way a free custom made bookmark to one of you. Here is how you can win.

For 1 entry – leave a comment on this post

Would you like more than one chance? I thought so.... Now, this is going to require you to comment more than once....not because I'm in desperate need for big comment numbers, but because it's the easiest way my math deficient brain knows how to do this. I will have a number randomly drawn when the contest is over. So if the number is 47, the person who left comment 47 will be the winner.

To make commenting easy for you, I am allowing anonymous comments and taking away the word verification system....JUST FOR THIS CONTEST. If you do leave an annon. comment, be sure to leave your blog link or an e-mail address or else I cannot let you know if you win.

For more chances to win, leave me comment for each of the things you do or have done. If 100 or more comments are entered, I will purchase an additional bookmark from Amy and there will be 2 winners instead of one.

• Commented on the advice letter to 15yr old me

• Commented on the advice letter to 20yr old me

• Commented on the advice letter to 25 yr old me

• Visit Amy's site and tell me the name of your favorite item

• Purchase something from Amy's site and leave me 5 additional comments

• Participate in Kristen's SWAK carnival
  

• Twitter this post
  

• Link to this post on your Facebook or Myspace page (I make it very easy for you to do this)

• Write your own advice letters to yourself
  

• Post your picture on my non traditional blogroll
  

• Subscribe to this blog, and of course, let me know that you have done so in the comment section

• Add the Becoming Me button to your site

• Finally, write a post about this contest linking to this post

Phew..that's a lot of chances. This contest is open until 8 p.m. On Sunday, Feb. 15^th. Winner(s) will be announced on Monday, February 16^th. You do not need to have a blog to be eligible to win.

Love Conquers All - Advice Letter To My 25-Year-Old Self

In the following advice letter to my younger self, I discuss love and marriage...both of which are a perfect fit for Kristen's Sealed with a Kiss (S.W.A.K.) Valentines Carnival. Links for the fun will follow this post.

Dear 25-Year-Old Me,

In August of the year Prince sung about with apocalyptic flair, you will step into an elegantly simple white gown, hold a bouquet of fresh pink roses, and walk into a garden as a glowing bride. Your wedding ceremony will be lovely, and the awe dancing in your man's eyes when he calls you his wife, will render you breathless.

Marrying The Professor (you'll call him that in a few years), is your most brilliant decision to date. In fact, I don't see how it can be matched...but the marrying part...that was easy. Being a wife, a wife of godly character, is a process consisting of choosing daily to love your husband.

I know that you have heard the cliché “love conquers all.” It's true. Oh, not in the Hollywood summer blockbuster sense. Romance alone, while an important marital spice, will not enable you to withstand the storms and fires about to come your way. When I write that love can conquer all, I am referring to the kind of love that is not limited by perception, personal desires, or tangible flaws. I'm referring to agape love...God's love. The very same love that conquered the cross on Calvary, is the only type of love capable of clobbering attacks that routinely assault marriages.

Two weeks after you and your new husband return from Jamaica, you'll move to a college town. He will pursue his Ph.D., and you will look for a job in a tough market. And that honeymoon period that is suppose to last for six months...well...it's going to end soon after those boxes are unpacked. And when it does, I need you to remember those eminent verses from I Corinthians. You know the ones I am writing about, because they are often recited at weddings...but how often are they lived?

Angela...You. Need. To. Live. Them. Even when you're exhausted. Even when you're sick. Even when you're hurt. Even when you're angry. Even when you're lonely. Even when you fall into the toilet at 2:00 a.m. because he forgot to put down the seat. You see, when you exchanged promises and rings with the love of your life, you signed up for "better and for worse, as long as you both shall live." And sometimes, there is a whole heap of worse before you see more of the better. But if you hold on to Christ, and love as He commands, your marriage will be draped with grace and beauty.

So remember...

Love is patient. Earning his Ph.D. will take more than seven years (I know, sweetie, I know), encourage him every step of the way.

Love is kind. Don't allow your fears and feelings of inadequacy swindle you into thinking that it is acceptable to lash out at your husband.

Love does not envy. It does not matter how many of your friends moved into new houses with fancy furniture after their weddings. Don't waste a moment fretting about what you want and what you do not have. Instead, look at that man who pledged his life to you, and thank God for the priceless gift of unconditional love.

Love does not boast. And love it is not proud. Love your husband, but don't try to out love him, and when you make a mistake, admit it, apologize for it, accept forgiveness, and let it go.

Love is not rude. And love is not self-seeking. Respect your husband and appreciate the man God created. And as you implement ideas to honor him and make him feel special, do not do so in the hopes of winning something from him in return.

Love is not easily angered. And love keeps no record of wrongs. Your first apartment together will measure less than 700 square feet. Believe it or not, you'll live in smaller. Money will be tight, and it gets even tighter. You and your husband won't always agree. There will be plenty opportunity for anger to sneak in. Don't allow it to get the upper hand. Ever. And when your husband makes a mistake, accept his apology and bury the mistake in a pit as deep as the one in which you would want your mistakes to reside.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

In other words, love can conquer all.

(Bold parts were taken from I Corinthians 13:4-8a, New International Version)

Kristen from We Are That Family is hosting a fabulous carnival this week to celebrate love and she's giving a way many fantastic prizes. Please check her out and share your story.

Letter To My 20-Yr-Old Self

Dear Me at age 20,

Oh girl, can you believe you're a college junior? Continue working hard, but also understand that obtaining a job in the field of public relations will require more than a respectable GPA, especially since you attend a small college. Save your money and search high and low for internships. Don't allow your fear of rejection to keep you from applying to the PR fellowship program offered by the Olympics or similar opportunities.

After graduation, (for which you'll want to wear a warm dress under your gown, because in Western NY, the snow sometimes falls in May) you will make one of the best decisions of your life. You will assert your independence by moving to Orlando, FL, with two suitcases and $500. That's one reason I keep reiterating that you should save your money, because if you don't, there will be eight days in your life that you eat only blueberry muffins and Cream of Wheat.

The next five years of your life will bring you a mixed bouquet...adventure, surprise, heartache, romance, opportunity, and closed doors. You will encounter a multitude of fears...some you will conquer, to others, you will succumb. Fear is your greatest adversary. If you allow it , that same fear, which also masquerades as self-doubt, apathy, and procrastination, will keep you head locked in its strong hold for years. Listen carefully to the voice of your creator as He whispers guidance in your heart. And listen to your gift of intuition when you meet prospective friends, roommates and employers. Don't second-guess those red-flag moments just because you are afraid that you cannot do better.

Your first few jobs will not be glamorous, and your youth and tiny voice will not garner respect. But, don't allow that to stop you from respecting yourself and working hard in spite of criticism. Truth be told, you do have a lot to learn and pride is just a waste of time and energy. Complete every task you are given, even the menial, to the very best of your ability and do so with a cheerful attitude. Hold your head up high when you enter a room, put some grip in your handshake, lower your voice (even if it feels fake), and look people square in the eye when you speak. My last bit of professional advice for you is this: sometimes confrontation is necessary. Don't be afraid to take a stand for something that you know is right. Confront with both kindness and firmness, and don't allow a shaky voice to shake your resolve.

When it comes to relationships, you'll quickly discover that the number of dates you go on in your twenties will make up for your nearly dateless teenage years. Apparently, southern guys find your combination of sweetness and spunk attractive, which is a good and bad thing because you have no clue who you are or what you want. Be gentle with the hearts that are offered to you. Once you refuse to stand behind a facade, you will find true love. Believe it or not, there is one man who will love you...quirks and all.

Before you find that man, you will fancy someone else...and when your feelings are unrequited, you will honestly be shocked. Arrogant, I know. This experience will cause you to doubt yourself like never before. Whatever you do...don't ask the young man to give you a list of reasons why he doesn't feel he same way as you do. Please, heed my advice on this one, because if you ask for a list...you will get one and it will not be pretty. You will get over the guy quickly, but it will take you a decade to get over the list. First of all, the list will be much longer than you expected it to be. Secondly, it is grounded in the opinions from just one man, not the representative for all mankind.

Should you ignore my counsel and ask for the list, do not use it as a measuring tool of your worth. Nor should you use it as impetus for self-improvement. In fact, do not use the standards of any man or woman, regardless how highly you esteem them, to shape your identity. Instead, align yourself with God's standards, and actively live your life in the pursuit of being more like Jesus.

Sincerely,

You at age 35

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:4-5

Ten additional advice tips -

1. Select a roommate based on personality and not apartment—If you do not do this, you will live in a luxury apartment with an emotionally unbalanced woman who will terrorize you...no, “future you” does not exaggerate.

2. Don't behave like women in romantic comedies

3. Enjoy your time as a single woman

4. Get your driver's license before you move to Orlando

5. Wear sunscreen every day that you live in Florida, because yes you can get a 2^nd degree sunburn in March.

6. Take time to learn more about political issues

7. As you learn about these issues, decide where you stand on them based on your values and not merely on the opinions of others.

8. Go on a missions trip

9. When your friend Charis comes to visit you, do not let her eat chicken.

10. Only buy your friends wedding gifts for which they have registered.

Letter To My 15-Year-Old Self

(This week I am writing a series of advice letters to myself at ages 15, 20, 25 & 30. I cannot claim the idea as an original and you can read about to whom I gave due credit to here. Commenting on today's post, as well as joining me and writing a letter to your younger self will earn you additional entries in Thursday give-away. You can read about that here. In reality, if I were ever given the chance to alter my past, I don't think I would take it. Every step I took, even the missteps led me to where I am today. So this letter is more for those who are currently teenagers, as well as for my daughter to read ten years from now.)

Dear Me at Age 15,

I'm writing this letter to you a month after my...our 35th birthday. First things first...choosing the appropriate tenses for this letter is challenging and makes me happy that I'm not a science fiction writer. Please do your best to follow along. I'm also not going to reveal too much of your future, rather I want to focus on who you are as you read this letter. I will, however, humor you and answer the one question I know you most want answered.


Yes, you will get married someday...and he's a wonderful man. You'll meet him when you're 24, which means that the kind boy with the arresting blue eyes and awkward smile who you'll meet in Denver six months from now, will not carry you over a threshold. And trust me, that's O.K. Look forward to the trip, because you will experience God in ways you never have before. And by all means, befriend the boy. In fact, I'm even fine with you allowing him to put his arm around you as you behold the spectacular beauty of a cascading waterfall. Honestly, I think every girl could use an innocent dose of romance during her teen years. But please, I beg you, please do not stalk him with letters or phone calls...the result will be the same and you'll only feel worse knowing that you unleashed the inner psycho that lurks inside every hormonally charged teen-aged girl.


When he writes and explains that there is someone else he cares more about and that you shouldn't feel bad about second-place...gracefully loosen your grip on that dream, gently kiss it good-bye, and then let it go. Cry on your pillow. Cry to your best friend,. Cry as you watch a sappy movie and eat a bowl of chocolate ice-cream. But don't use up too many tears, and don't cry to the boy. And yes, the “second place line” is dreadful...but cut him some slack...he meant well and few males acquire the knack for tact and subtlety by age 18. Oh, by the way, be sure to spend time getting to know the boy's older sister, the two of you have real friendship chemistry. In twenty years, you'll be joking with each other about your thin hair and pasty skin.


Now that I got the easy stuff out of the way, let's talk about high school. As far as I am concerned prison and high school have two things in common...bad food and brutality. Those kids who teased you mercilessly during middle school aren't going to change their ways just because classes meet in a different building. But stop making it so easy for them. And the heavy-set guy who functions as class clown and chief tormentor...don't fight him with big words. It will only make matters worse, because, you see, he already feels insecure. That's why he picks apart others. If I were a betting woman, I would put a hefty wager on the fact that everyone sitting in those plastic blue desks carries the fear of insignificance. It's why high school can be so ugly..hurting people, Hurt. People.


Don't ever mold your pain into a weapon. Instead, use it to help you identify the hidden anguish in others. When the bullies target another victim, wipe the relief from your heart and encourage the oppressed. Tell them that they just heard a bunch of lies. Tell them that they are not ugly or stupid. Tell them that what they wear, how they style their hair, and what their parents do for a living does not affect their intrinsic value as human beings. (But don't use the word intrinsic). Tell them about Jesus and how He changed your life. Instead of fighting to alter your status in a flawed system, fight for the truth.


Scary stuff, I know. But you are not alone. And those statements I just wrote to you about what to tell others...they apply to you as well.


Young Angela, when you look in the mirror and see a girl who has little worth, you are perpetuating a lie straight from the pit of hell (yes, I use that word sometimes...it's a real place...it's O.K.). You are loved and valued...and your life...it has purpose.


Devote some time each and every day to reading your Bible. Start with the letters from Paul and read them again and again. Let that truth be your motivation...let it set you free.


Now that we got the heavy stuff out of the way, I'm going to close with a list of ten tips for you as you navigate through the next five years of your life.

1 – Spend more time with your younger sisters


2 – Study more and watch less T.V.


3 – Don't get over confident in your writing talent...you've got a lot to learn..but don't dismiss it either...cultivate it.


4 – Eat more vegetables


5 – Your skin will never tan. NEVER. So do not pay money to stand in a tanning booth. And, DO NOT rub yourself with baby oil and lay in the sun for hours at a time—You will fry yourself red, blister, and your skin will peel. I'm not joking.


6 – Ignore your lack of coordination and start getting your body into shape.


7-- Drop the motto, “You can never be too thin.” It's a lie.


8 – Save your money


9 – Do not, under any circumstances, get credit cards when you are 18. Wait until you are 25.


10 – Learn how to swim


Hold on to Jesus. I'll write you again when you turn 20.

Love,

The older and wiser you


Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Epehsians 5:1-2

As I was finishing this letter, The Professor was watching the Grammy Awards, and I heard this song by Taylor Swift. She wrote it as advice to her fifteen-year-old self. Now, Miss Swift is only slightly older than 15 today, but still there is a lot of truth in her words.

Desperate

Yesterday morning, The Professor gifted me with an extra hour of sleep. Just as I stirred awake, the wails of my 22-month-old son jolted me into the upright position. Pickle loves his Daddy, but there are some mornings when all he wants and needs can be found only in the arms of his mommy.

I didn't need to see my toddler to know that he was furiously pounding both of his small fists against my bedroom door with as much force as he could muster. Not more than a second after I opened the door, Pickle collapsed his red, wet and plump cheeks against my chest and quickly sucked air back into his exhausted lungs.

He was neither injured nor in danger. A nutritious breakfast filled his belly, and his diaper was dry...yet still he ached to be in my arms. Yesterday morning, my son was desperate for me.

As I cradled and kissed the little boy whose arms clung around my neck, I silently asked my Heavenly Father this rhetorical question.

"This is what you want from me, isn't it?"

The answer...affirmative. God wants His children to continually seek Him with fervent passion...to yearn for what only He can offer...not because He needs this from us, but because He desires for us to have the very best.

Too often I allow the circumstances of daily life to shift my focus from Jesus. Too often I take His presence in my heart for granted. Today, I am once again desperate for Him. Today, I pray that I never stop craving for that which is found only in Him.

How lovely is your dwelling place,O Lord of Heaven’s Armies. I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. Psalm 84:1-2



For more, Then Sings My Soul Saturday, Please visit Amy at Signs, Miracles, and Wonders.

A Time To Laugh

My first boyfriend broke up with me three days after my 18th birthday.

"You take life too seriously...you have the kindest heart, but you really need to lighten up," he stammered while repeatedly shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"I'll have you know that I am a whole bunch of fun," I retorted! (Yep, I was known for my zingers.) Later that night I buried my mascara-stained face into my pillow and imagined my future as a lonely cat lady.

During my sophomore year of college, a gang of my friends barged into my dorm room, tackled me from behind, blind-folded me, and then carried me to my own surprise party. Why such extreme measures? Determined to spend the entire evening studying for an exam that was four days away, I innocently thwarted their attempts to get me there without arousing suspicion.

After eight-months of marriage I hit The Professor with a pillow...in righteous anger. His offense? Short-sheeting our bed as an April Fool's joke.

Fortunately, all of those examples happened sometime during the last decade and I've come a long way in the fun department since then. But still, there are times when I get so entangled in the must do's, should do's, and want-to-do's in life that I neglect opportunities to simply let loose and embrace childlike wonderment...play.

Last night as Pumpkindoodle slowly put on her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and conducted other bedtime preparation rituals, I didn't hurry her. In fact, I didn't pay much attention to her tasks...I knew she could handle them. And, I didn't mind that she was creeping along at a snail's pace to delay going to sleep...the more slothful the better. I didn't mind because I was playing.

I got out the Lincoln Logs and taught myself how to build a little cabin...with a door, a roof, and windows. I was so excited that laughed out loud and clapped when I finished! I even took pictures.

No, it isn't much, and yes, there were probably better uses for my time...but for a solid 20 minutes I ignored being the stiff grown-up and I played. And when I finished,I felt zero guilt... because last night it was time to laugh.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (New Living Translation)

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

The Hair is Always Prettier on the Other Head –Another Tale of Contentment

I have never liked my hair. Not even when I was four-years-old and my golden locks rivaled those of Rupunzel. Oh, I liked the length, and when it was properly curled and styled I pretended to be a princess…but I did not like the tangles…and even less did I enjoy the pain and aggravation caused by the untangling process.

My mom, being the one who had to listen to my whining protests, decided that my long hair had to go. This decision was made when I was in the fourth-grade, and it was one with which I agreed.

Oh, but there was a downside…when I was in grade four, the year on our annual Mid-Penn Bank calendar read 1984. Why is that date significant? Well…for starters it was the year of the mullet. Sigh. I do wish I had a picture to share.

Not only is the mullet an eye sore, it is a lot of work. My hair still easily knotted in the back and a brush was no longer the sole implement required to style my baby fine tresses. Each morning my mom had to stand over me with a hot curling iron to make the top portion of my head look more feminine…indeed, I do wish I had a picture of the finished look.

Fast-forward 25 years and you will still find me complaining about my hair. In fact, if you are my Facebook friend, you have witnessed my recent turmoil involving a box of home color and my daughter delightfully exclaiming that the results looked beautiful…just like a lollipop. Now of that, I have a picture.

Last night as I sat in the home of my new stylist eagerly waiting for her to transform me into a super model with just a few clips from her scissors, (I tend to have high expectations) she said the most peculiar thing to me.

“You are so lucky to have straight, fine hair.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me…I wouldn’t wish this hair on anyone, plus what is with my crazy hair line in the back that grows upward…and that hideous cowlick?”

“It’s much better than having hair like mine…it’s so thick and coarse.”

I looked at her long, thick, perfectly coiffed blond hair and giggled.

“This is too funny,” I said. “You have my dream hair!”

“Well, I guess we all want what we don’t have,” she replied.

How true that is. For sheep, the grass is always greener on the other side…for women, the hair is always prettier on the other head!

Moreover, it does not stop with hairstyles. Why is it so much easier for me to want something I cannot have than to thank Jesus for the many gifts I possess? I take so much for granted.

Instead of griping about the hair I have, I should be thanking the Lord that I can brush my hair every morning without clumps of it falling to the floor, which is what many women suffering with cancer face daily.

Instead of feeling annoyed by my old raggedy comforter each time I make my bed in the morning, I should pour out my heart in thanksgiving that I have a warm bed and blankets. They may be outdated, but they are clean and functional…much better than newspapers that cover the homeless.

Instead of being annoyed that our budget is too tight to buy Christmas presents for friends this year, I should get on my knees and thank my Savior for the many friends He has given me, and ask Him to show me how to creatively gift them with service, love, time, and kindness.

So while the grass may appear greener, hair prettier, furniture grander, homes bigger, and figures thinner…I’m going to try really hard to not be so interested in the proverbial other side. I am going to focus on how to make my inside look more like Jesus and foster a spirit of thankfulness for all He has given me.

Philippians 2:13-15 (New International Version)

For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

Mind Control

Disclaimer…if ever I am thrown into a vat of toxic waste like I will mention in a moment (because you know that happens to people every day), wishes for a speedy death will trump any hidden desires for super strength. The same is true for bites from radioactive insects or injections of any secret formula administered by a mad scientist. Just thought I should make that clear.

In my previous post, I wrote about my fascination with movies and T.V. shows based on characters with super-human abilities. As a fan of these shows, I cannot help wondering what I would do if I was thrown into a vat of toxic waste and emerged with out-of-this-world capabilities? What super power would I most like to have and how would I use it?

While there are a flurry of cool super powers for the taking, I do have a favorite. It separated itself from all the others one morning as Pumpkindoodle glared at me and refused to wear anything that I asked her to put on, and Pickle hurled blocks in my direction as an act of defiance.

Mind control.

Oh, I wouldn't use it in a bad way, I at first reasoned, just to help make life a little easier. I wouldn't make all the decisions for my kids...just the ones that involved obeying me. As the days and weeks went on, I thought of more ways as to how I'd use my new mind controlling abilities should ever they come. Sadly, none of my ideas involved lowering crime, world peace, or convincing celebrities (because you know if I had a super power Oprah would interview me) to live on $200,000 a year and donate the rest of their money to orphans.

My ideas for my imaginary super powers were self-centered. My children would eat their vegetables, wear the clothing I set out for them, and refrain from all acts of disobedience. The Professor would begin his mornings at four thus enabling him to come home early, make dinner, clean the kitchen, and suggest that I take more bubble baths. Babysitters would gladly exchange their services for a home cooked meal and a plate of brownies, and leasing agents at our apartment complex would eagerly agree to having our place remodeled.

And, this is why God in His infinite wisdom did not bestow me with the ability to control minds, nor any other super power that I could abuse. He knew I would unintentionally destroy the planet. However, He did entrust me with one mind to be in command of…my own. I have the power to choose selflessness over selfishness; to choose forgiveness over resentment; to choose peace over bitterness; to choose joy over despair. And while I cannot dictate the response of others, I make sure that my actions and reactions are consistent to God's teaching.

Romans 8:5-8 New International Version

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

Super Powers

Aside for my adolescent affection for David Banner and his mean green alter ego, "The Hulk," I've never been a fan of movies or T.V. shows based on comic books. Had I not married a man who stomps his feet with excitement whenever a trailer promoting the latest flick about an iconic hero with superpowers is shown for the first time, I most likely would have gone the rest of my life without watching such characters.

The first time The Professor brought me to a theater to see a movie based on some legend from his childhood was to the premier of X-Men. As we stood in line behind a man wearing Wolverine claws, I rolled my eyes and thought that I would enjoy the next two hours as much as I enjoyed tweezing my eye-brows.

I was wrong. After spending just 180 minutes alternating holding my breath and crying as the Marvel Heroes fought the bad guys and their inner demons, I was hooked. Now when a movie about a costumed crusader against evil is released, I'm ready to book a babysitter and stand in line. I'm also more likely to get caught up in T.V. shows focusing on people with powers of the super variety (hence my addiction to NBC’s Heroes).

Although the action scenes are riveting, it's the classic struggle between good and evil that keeps me glued. It's viewing seemingly ordinary people grapple with discovering that they are now different from others...different from whom they thought they once were. It's watching characters evolve not into people with super powers, but into people who are willing to make mountainous sacrifices for humankind.

I cannot leap giant buildings in a single bound, nor can I heal myself, or control minds...and I run slightly faster than a speeding turtle; but still I identify with the Clark Kent’s, Peter Parker’s, and Claire Bennett’s of the fantasy world. Because like them, I am different…set a apart. I don’t believe this because I think I am more special or better than anyone else. In fact, it’s not about me at all. It’s about Jesus and letting others know that I follow the Messiah.

As said by Peter Parker’s aunt in the movie Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.” All Christians are given the responsibility of living up to the standards of a glorious and all-powerful God. That’s not small stuff… it is certainly too big for me to accomplish on my own strength. The good news is that I’m not meant to do it alone. And when I am tired, weary, frustrated, and broken from this world and from simply being me, I can rest in the One whose power is beyond anything in this universe.

Romans 12:1-3 (New Living Translation)

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us

New Living Translation (NLT)

Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.

Are You Salty?

I'm over at Faith-Lifts today with a recycled message about salt. Please stop by for a visit.

Thanks for all of you who have been so patient with me regarding my lack-luster blog-reading and commenting performance as of late. I am hoping to carve out some time this week or next to catch up on my blog reading.

Choices

I'm easing back into life after holiday.

While away, I read this beautiful excerpt from the Max Lucado book, When God Whispers Your Name. It's titled The Choice, and it eloquently states how we can choose exhibit the fruits of the spirit.

The Choice - Max Lucado

It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I am free to choose.

I choose Love.... No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose Joy.... I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose Peace.... I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose Patience.... I will overlook the inconvenience of the world. Instead of cursing the one that takes my place, I will invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for the moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose Kindness.... I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose Goodness.... I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose Faithfulness.... Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose Gentleness.... Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be on myself.

I choose Self-Control.... I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my Faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.