Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Psalm 55:22. (New Living Translation)
Exhaustion. It’s got my number. And, in stalker-like fashion it calls me throughout the day interrupting my playtime with my kids and leaving me unable to wash at least one of the seven loads of laundry strewn across the floor of my closet. There are food stains on my kitchen counters, my bathrooms have not been thoroughly cleaned in more than nine days, and I stopped The Professor from taking some left-over casserole for his lunch by asserting, "Hey, that's dinner for tonight!"
Delirium-inducing sleepiness relentlessly confronts me. Reminiscent of an angry football coach, its techniques are of the “in-your-face” variety. Knowing that sleep is a necessity to good health and that moving to a new state, with or without two small children, pumps energy out of one’s system faster than the Jugular drains blood; I’ve given into exhaustion’s demands.
I’ve gone to bed early, slept in, taken naps, and, obviously, slacked in the housework department. Still, my body yearns for my bed. I did get a slight emotional lift while talking to my dear friend Julie, who, by the way, writes this fantastic blog. While brainstorming together, we ruled out depression since my desire to participate is present.
Is it just the move or something physical? I’m not sure. If it continues, I’ll get some lab work done after our new insurance kicks in gear. What I do know is that the fatigue hounds me still today after increasing my water intake, taking additional vitamins, and getting some extra shut-eye.
I also know that my constant state of drowsiness is wearing on my soul. It has hindered my ability to write, which, for me, is also a time of worship and devotion to God. I’ve also been unable to read or participate in other activities I enjoy. And again, it’s not for lack of desire.
I long for more quiet time with the Lord to refresh my spirit and am fighting for that time as I write these words. It’s as if I am in a season of illness or drought, though not one of a serious nature. So I give my all, even though my all is very little. I pray in spurts and while doing the dishes, because as soon as I close my eyes, even when sitting, I doze off. Those of you, who know me personally, know this is highly uncharacteristic of me. I have honestly not been this tired since bringing home my newly born babes.
I find comfort in knowing that in this somewhat strange time in my life, the Lord is with me. His word is applicable to every situation I face, regardless the size of adversity or triumph. He knows what is going on inside my body and He promises rest to my spirit.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah Psalm 62:5-8 (NIV).