Sunday, October 5, 2008


When Genny contacted me regarding her blog carnival/challenge based on the New York Times best seller One Month to Live, I gave her my promise of participation. She’s my friend. However, had I happened across this challenge by chance, you would not be reading my response. You see, I tend to avoid books, conversations, and even thinking about the subject of how I would live my life if I found out it would end in 30 days.

It’s not because I harbor a fear of death, I don’t. It’s that I get uneasy when called to more self examination and the myriad inadequacies that always unearths.

Since I started writing this blog eight months ago, my flaws have been splattered about this electronic journal. You already know that I’m selfish, insecure, ferociously competitive, impatient, prideful, ungrateful, lacking in self control, and at times emotionally imbalanced. I often wonder if my readership has really grown because so many feel that they can relate to me or if it is really due to the “can’t keep my eyes off the train wreck” syndrome.

On the “plus” side of my list of character traits sits loyalty. I keep my word and was determined to explore this issue. First, because I said I would. Secondly, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to do it for other unknown reasons.

Initially, my thoughts were about how to get the most out of this life while I have it. Then it hit me…nothing I do or experience in this body and on this planet will hold a candle to what I will experience in Heaven. Nothing. Not a week in Disney World or even a trip down the Grand Canyon.

It is unfathomable that my heart will experience a happiness guaranteed to surpass the elation that accompanies Eskimo kisses, snuggles, and giggles shared with my children. The tingling sensation that trickles down toward my fingertips when The Professor kisses my neck will one day be replaced with feelings not even known on this earth. When I am standing in the presence of angels, will I even remember the lovely songs the birds now sing? This life of mine has been blessed by immeasurable beauty and there is more to come when I reach my permanent home.

So what would I do if I had but a month to live? I would stop living for me. Stop striving for things to temporarily heal wounds and patch insecurities. Instead, I hope I would devote my time to contributing to the lives of others.

I would listen intently, invite freely, converse openly, compliment lavishly, and forgive without a millisecond of hesitation. Most importantly, I would share the details about my upcoming change of address without inhibition. I would live without fear knowing that nothing can happen to me on earth that cannot be fixed the instant I walk into Heaven.

I have no clue as to the amount of time I have left to live on this beautiful blue rock. I could have thirty days, thirty years, thirty minutes, or some number greater or less than all of those possibilities.

Will I now begin to live as though I have only one month to live? Honestly, I don’t think so. I think that for me, that train of thought would serve to fan the fading embers of my perfectionist tendencies. But I will make changes.

I will try my hardest to focus on what matters and give little attention to the shiny looking stuff born of insignificance. I will continually remind myself that there are no riches on earth that compare to the treasures my Father has stored for me in Heaven.

I will live not to receive but to give…to leave behind a legacy. It is my prayer that my legacy be embroidered with love, truth, and hope. A legacy that will not highlight the life I lived on earth, but the life than can be lived by all who place their trust in the nail scarred hands of Jesus.

For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. Phil. 1:19-23 New Living Translation

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Gal. 5:22-25 NIV

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:2-4 NIV

To read more posts on this subject, please head on over to Genny’s blog, My Cup 2 Yours.Also, it's not too late to write your own post about this. Feeling a little nervous about that? I totally understand, as I wrote, I was too, but I am so glad I gave it a chance.


Sandy Toes said...

What a great post! I appreciate your honesty with everything! I wrote on this too but in reality I should live like I have only ONE DAY to live but I don't many times!
Have a great week!
-Sandy toes

Amy-littletoesandcheerios said...

Well said! This is my first time on your blog and what a great post ro read. Thanks for posting...makes me think about how blessed I am and how we should live everyday to the fullest. I'm not to good at doing that, so this helped me tonight as I'm a bit sad due to a sick family member.

Julie said...

I come here because I see a true, vulnerable heart...and I LOVE that!

It's clear to me that your heart beats for Him.....

The verse that I think of is "He who walks in the light as He is in the light will have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus Christ will cleanse us from all sin."

You walk in the light and that my friend is refreshing!


P.S. He loves you... said...

Thanks for stopping's been awhile since I've been here and your quite deep in your thoughts and the word..this is good :D

To think and ask is to listen and recieve...something like that.

I will also share a favorite slogan.

"Why worry if you pray and why pray if you worry..."

Jill said...

What a beautiful post!

Very thought provoking and filled with honesty! REFRESHING!

Thank you for coming to my blog and wanting to follow along as I humbly follow Him!

I just read through many of your posts and love your writing style and what you share. I gave an award out last week and we will be doing so again tomorrow - please stop by and pick it up. You definitely sow seeds of love to your readers - all for His glory! Beautiful!

Love and blessings in His name,

Gwendolyn said...

What a wonderful post! I needed to read this today. :o)

GrandCanyonMom said...

Yes! So true! Thanks for this post and challenge!


Angie said...

What an incredible post! I am blown away. We did the One Month to Live bible study at our church....and after the first night---well--you said it much better than I can put into words!

Amy said...

Beautiful and challengeing post. I echo your thoughts. I pray in my own life that I would put aside the temporal in favor of the eternal and do all that I can to exalt the name of Christ. Blessings.

Genny said...

Thank you, my friend, for joining me in this and for sharing your heart! I am thankful for all the lessons I'm learning through this. I absolutely loved your post. I think the tears started at about, "a happiness guaranteed to surpass..." and they didn't stop after that. I loved the list of all the ways you'd live..."stop living for me...devote my time to contributing to the lives of others," etc. Such great lessons. Thank you!

Susan said...

Beautiful post! It's hard to think about what we would really do in that situation...but exploring it certainly helps us unearth more of who we really are...

:-) Susan

Jenn said...

That was beautifully written! I enjoy your honesty.

Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving me a comment! Hope to hear again from you soon!

elizabeth embracing life said...

It is so amazing how God just speaks right into our hearts. Thanks for sharing yours today. Blessings.

Mrs. Sidney said...

This is an amazing post!! I think you are an amazing woman after the heart of her heavenly father. Thank you for your encouraging words!! I feel blessed everytime I need your blog. Thanks again!!

Debra said...

The reality is that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. My favorite part of this post was when you declared that you would instantly forgive without a moment's hesitattion...what a true glimpse of having to face a shorter life sentence, my sweet sister. Most can only think about that....

I thank you for this post. It was written with such devotion!!

Blessings to you!!

Katherine Mikshenas said...

What a beautiful touching post. So many times life gets in the way of the beauty of God's blessings all around us. God bless you and Keep Writing! You are a blessing to many people.

Kathy M.

Gretchen said...

Good point about the perfectionistic tendencies getting in the way of living for the end. But I think, because you know about your tendencies, you're already living for the end. You are human. You're bound to have ungodly tendencies. But just for today, you can live for life in Heaven. And then tomorrow. And then the next day. With His help. And His mercy. And His grace.

Chatty Kelly said...

That is a hard subject to think about, but we don't know if we do have even one month to live really. It's important to remember God is in control.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Kelly B said...

Great posts! Thank you for reading my blog...did you get this scripture about forgiveness from the Joel Osteen word today? (emails from Joel) I ask because it was about forgiveness today. Either that or God is really speaking to me today!

Tracy said...

Beautifully spoken, my friend. I love the honesty and reality you bring. (That's why people are drawn to you.) What a great concept. Great food for thought...


Cindy said...

This is a beautiful post.
Mine will be posted on Thursday. I have to do my Book Study post tomorrow but I'm already working on My One Month.

I love the challenge but also the reminders that we never know what amount of time God gives us here and to use it wisely. Helping others to see Jesus and Him Glorified.

Blessings, Cindy

Noah and Ryders Mommy said...

Thank you for your sweet comment and for a great read! I love your blog, so honest and genuine! Very refreshing
love and blessings to you!

Becca said...

I love this post. Very open and honest. You have a wonderful way of writing your heart.

Anonymous said...

This is so true. I really like your post. I am trying to improve myself, so that I can pass on better habits to my daughter. I want her to live life as fully as possible, and not give in to the temptation of worry and judgement.

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