Monday, June 1, 2009

The Bedroom and The Bible

White sand. Florida Sunshine. Ocean breeze. I (hopefully) am enjoying all three of those luxuries today and for the rest of the week. While I'm away, I lined up a few guest writers.

Today's special guest is Wifey from Ask Wifey. I wish I could have seen her face when she first read my request asking her to write a guest blog post about sex.
I asked her to write about sex for two reasons. (1) She writes a weekly column about sex, so I knew she wouldn't be shy. (2) Sex is a beautiful part of a healthy Christian marriage.

I hope you enjoy her perspective. Angela

(P.S. I promise you I did not pay her to write all those nice things about me)

Marriage: The Bedroom and The Bible

When Angela asked me to write a guest post for Becoming Me I was thrilled as it’s one of my favorite reads, but when I saw the topic she wanted me to write about I must say I was a little shocked.



That’s right; one of my favorite Christian bloggers asked me to write a sex post. Hmm. Not being a Christian blogger myself (I am a Christian, my blog is just not religious themed) you might see how this made me a little uneasy. She anticipated my initial reaction and assured me that it was appropriate and that she would like for me to share my thoughts on sex in marriage and how God intended it to be wonderful, not a thing of shame.

That’s why Angela is who she is – insightful, inspiring, thought-provoking, and forward-thinking. And that’s why I continually read Becoming Me, because her posts give me a daily dose of spiritual juice and help me look at things through a new lens.

And, of course, she is right; sex in marriage was intended to be wonderful and not a thing of shame. A few years ago I wrote an article for Upscale magazine (Feb 2007) titled, “Sex in the Scriptures: Does the Bible Belong in a Married Couple’s Bedroom?” While researching the piece I spoke to several clergy members and professors about their thoughts on sex and marriage and questioned if it was purely for procreation. I gladly received a resounding “no.”

In the article Father Ricardo Bailey, Parochial Vicar at Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Atlanta explained, “Sex in and of its self is intended to be a gift that each person brings to the conjugal act of marriage, but sex is also God’s gift to us to express our love to one another. When it’s done in the way that God intended it, which is from what the church teaches us in and through the sacrament of matrimony, then it can be a source of pleasure and enjoyment.”

Sex is such a touchy subject – literally – however it’s such an important part of a healthy marriage. Understanding and embracing that, and nurturing your sex life is critical to your relationship with your spouse. Sex should not be forgotten, forbidden or taken for granted.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

When you can allow yourself to enjoy the pleasure, passion and intimacy of sex with your partner – guilt free – it truly is a wonderful thing.

Winks & Smiles,

You can find Wifey at and at She is the author of “Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage.”


Mrs. M said...

Thank both of you ladies for the great post! People always give me strange looks when I mention sex being enjoyable or important, like somehow I'm a closet hussy or something because I love (and of course value) having sex with my husband.

Not that I would stop, even if it DID mean I'm a trollop ;)

Joyfulsister said...

Hey Sis,
I'm having a giveaway and I have an award for you at the bottom of my giveaway post to celebrate our sisterness. Come over when you can okay!!

Hugz Lorie

The Real Me! said...

Well I'm in Florida and live at the beach so where are you? LOL.

Leslie said...

At the end of last summer, I unexpectedly found myself pregnant at 43. I ended up miscarrying at 8weeks, however, I actually felt embarrassed about being pregnant again at an older age! It was as if we were announcing that yes, we still have sex! Plus, our kids are 14 and 11, so I kept thinking that now they know what mom & dad are doing when the bedroom door is locked!

I always have to remind myself what the Bible says about sex between a married couple in order to stave off any embarrassment.

Cairo Typ0 said...

Great post, Wifey!! :) I like touchy subjects! :p

Mammatalk said...

Thanks for giving me the green light. Now, off to find hubby! ;-)

On Purpose said...

In agreement with "a truly wonderful thing"

Thank you God for creating everything On Purpose!

Ms. Wanda said...

Wonderful! It's funny how sex has somehow become a bad word for Christians. Nobody wants to say it:) I wish someone would tell Christian couples that's it's ok to have it as much as they want:)

Felicia - I complete Me said...

This is a great post and topic. I find that a lot of people make sex seem as if it is the dirtiest thing you can do. If God gave us this why would it be dirty since we are doing it in the way God intended. Get rid of the hangups and enjoy your spouse.

Thanks for the great post and another blog to add to my reader.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

You brought blogging to a new level today, Mrs. Wifey. I loved seeing this different side of both you and your writing.

Touchy subjects are never easy to address, but you did so beautifully.


Carol said...

Good word, Wifey! I agree. My husband and I just taught a class on this at church. We teach a marriage course. It was a touchy subject, but one that definitely needs to be discussed.

And Angela, hope you are having fun!! Don't forget the sun tan lotion.

MOMSWEB said...

"Let's talk about sex, baby!" Remember that song?
High Five, Wifey! Great words as usual!

Funkidivagirl said...

Great post Wifey! I totally agree with everything you said about sex, the Bible and marriage.

MoziEsmé said...

I love Wifey's blog! It's nice to see a Bible-based post of hers... right on as always.

Jewelry Rockstar said...

When I got marriage counseling many years ago, the pastor & his wife told us that the marriage bed was sacred. Meaning we could do what we wanted as long as we both agreed.

I am curious about what the father meant when he said "as God intended." Anybody want to elaborate?

Angela said...

Jewelry Rockstar:

Thanks for visiting and for your comment. I believe that the father meant that God intended sex to between a man and a women who are married to each other.

Blessings, Angela

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