Friday, July 17, 2009

What's Goin' On

Today, I'm just going to talk to you. I'm not going to get out my thesaurus, I'm not going to spend hours searching for the best adjectives, alliteration and phrasing....I'm just going to type with my fingers the words that are circulating in my mind almost in the fashion of a face-to-face conversation, albeit a one-sided conversation.

When I started Becoming Me about 18-months-ago I implemented a few self-imposed rules.

Rule # 1 - It would consist mostly of devotional posts

Rule #2 - Only serious and well written material would be published

Rule #3 - Each post, even the non devotional ones would include a Scripture verse.

Rule #4 - I would not obsess about growing my readership

Rule #5 - My posts would showcase my imperfections and be honest, sometimes even raw, so that whoever stopped by to read would know that through Christ there is hope for all human weaknesses and struggles.

Rule #6 - I would personally respond to every comment left on my blog

Rule #7 - I would update my blog regularly as well as visit and comment on other blogs often.

There were other rules too. Some I kept, some I modified, and others I threw out. But when began this journey I felt that I needed hard and fast guidelines. I tend to live my life that way. I like rules, they make me feel safe. And I like to follow rules, because doing so makes me feel as if I'm a good person and pleasing to others. If there was a course called "People Pleasing 101" not only could I teach it, but I would have a special segment about rules.

In an early post I labeled my self a "recovering perfectionist and people pleaser." Extreme rule making and following can certainly be a symptom of such. And there is another to this...one that does not seem to fit.

When I become overwhelmed by to-do lists, projects, rules, and such, I tend to shut down and let it all slide away. I've done that with Becoming Me recently.

When I found out that we would have to move once again (our 7th major move in 10 years), I became weary. Not only were we having to move, we were having to move because my husband's job had been discontinued. (I think that's what is called a "double whammy"). And let's make it a triple whammy...he was having a difficult time securing a new job. Even though I honestly was not fretting about the situation because I knew with all my heart that God would make it good in time, I was annoyed with the situation. Moving yearly can be taxing both physically and emotionally. The thought of packing boxes, leaving friends, driving across country, unpacking boxes, making new friends, etc. invoked frustration. No, that's too mild...it made me angry. Really angry. Not with God. Not with my husband, but with life, with the situation.

Although writing has always packed therapeutic value, I had trouble thinking, writing, even praying. I felt overloaded. I'm still feeling a wee bit overloaded.

I'm not weeping. I'm not feeling depressed. I'm not even enraged. I'm just tired and mildly drained.

The good news is that my husband has found another job. We will be moving again...this time to a small town in Ohio. And the move will be soon. The Professor accepted the job offer on Monday, drove to Ohio on Tuesday to find a place to live, signed a lease on Wednesday, and then returned home last night. And guess what? We're moving in two weeks!

I promise you, I'm not complaining...I'm actually quite excited about the move...mildly daunted, but mostly excited. I know that we are not moving alone and that this is just a new chapter in the story God is writing for us. That does make my heart joyful.

I'm not going to give up on writing. But I am going to ease up on some of my self made rules...I may not post something new for another few weeks or even months...or I may be inspired and write something new tomorrow. But that's OK.


(I do promise to reinstate Blog of the Week sometime in the Fall)




32 comments:

Sheryl said...

honestly...one of my favorite posts. love those things that are written straight from the heart!!

excited to hear all that God has in store for you in ohio. love your attitude!!

MrsM said...

Everyone has moments in their life when things need to be readjusted. I stopped blogging for quite a while last year after we had Baby Bug-it was just a time for doing something else.

I hope that all of your "something else's" bring you joy! And of course I'll be here whenever you get a stroke of inspiration for your blog.

Aspiemom said...

Oh, I always HATED moving! We moved about every 3 yrs growing up and I've moved 5 times in the 22 yrs we've been married. Glad it's slowing down.

You have a great attitude! I hope this move goes smoothly and you locate your new drs, hairdressers, church, friends with ease!

Emily said...

Ugh, the dreaded move. We've got one in our near future, too. But Ohio's nice, you'll like it here. We moved out here from eastern PA, and it's like a whole other world.

I'll be praying for you guys!

sara said...

Congrats on the job!!! And you are going to cooler weather, so that is nice!!!

praying for a very smooth move, that God would guide every step and that He would even now be preparing good friends for you and the kids!!!

Proverbs 27:19 said...

With Anton being in the military I understand your feelings about moving so often. It does take quite some time to get adjusted and all. However, since being a Christian I have found the moves to be easier because I learned that no matter where we go, we've always got family already there and waiting.

God is so awesome in that, He's everywhere and so are His children. My brother-in-law and his family live in Ohio so when we come to visit with them I hope that you and I can visit with each other as well, (ya see how that works already).

Lastly, I love rule #5!

smooches,
Larie

angeljoy said...

You know what I love? The fact that I don't feel a sense of loss because you're moving to Ohio.
Because of your blog, you are here where ever you go.
:)

Kimberly said...

Thank you so much for letting us know how you are and what is going on. There was no pressure for you to do so...but when you come by someone's blog for a while, they do end up having a place in your heart. So my heart is happy to hear how you are. Happy that there is a job. Happy that I know God's plans for you are for your good.
Please know that I will be praying for you.

And I so can relate to all you have said here about the rules. I don't officially write out any rules, but they are there. Soooooo there. Recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser are two words that definitely describe me. And it has to be the word "recovering" NOT "recovered." Nowhere near that -ed. :)

You are a sweet, talented, beautiful woman of God, Angela! And Ohio is blessed to be getting you!
Love and prayers,
K :)

Courtney said...

Congrats on finding a new home and a new job! I live in WV so i am really close to Ohio! I hope you have a smooth move and are able to settle in to a new routine quickly!

Too Many Hats said...

Hugs to you. I know I would be totally overwhelmed by all that is happening. Blessings with the move.

3 Blessings said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. I have only been a follower of your blog for a few weeks, but I have been praying for you because it seemed odd that you just stopped posting. I am glad your prayers were answered. God's blessings,
Amy

Muthering Heights and Other Senseless Sensibility said...

I hope everything goes well with your move!

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

Angela,

I have followed your status updates on face book and have been praying as news of your move came out.

You are such a dear lady and I am glad you decided to just write from the heart about what is going on in your life. Your honestly and authenticity is what drew me to your blog in the first place. This post was a great example of that.

I'll have to see how close your new location is to us... :)

Post as your heart leads. I know I am not the only one who loves to read it, but wants you to relax and feel no pressure to post. :)

Karin said...

All the best to you and many exciting adventures with the Lord in the years He gives you in the new place.

He & Me + 3 said...

This was a great post. That is exciting about the move. Where too? We live about 30 minutes from Toledo Ohio! Will you be close to there?

Andrea said...

Love this post...straight from your heart!!
Andrea

PS: Urgent prayer request on my blogs for a fellow blogger.

Susan said...

I think the best "rule" of blogging is being real. Really real. And that means sharing what's in your heart which is what you've done in this post. I am praying that you are blessed in this move and that this is a place where you can plant for a while.

:-) Susan

Susan said...

Do you mind if I ask where in Ohio? I have family there.

Liz said...

I hope your move goes well. Congrats to your husband on his new job!

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

Loved the honesty of this post! I, too, am feeling overloaded a bit. We aren't facing a move, but I am recovering from a back injury that had me in bed for 3 months. I am trying to play catch up on things, plus fit in all the summer activities we have lined up and set up for homeschooling. Life just gets busy and something has to give. I'm with you and will be taking a blogging break for now.
I'll be praying for you as you move and get settled.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Angela ~

It is so difficult to move often, but there are so many blessings as well (as you said). I really feel moving so much as a child shaped my personality and my life hugely -- I don't think I would have adopted internationally if I wasn't so comfortable with diverse cultures and people.

Congrats on the new job... blessings during this time of transition... and we will look forward to reading your words again whenever they may come forth.

Becca~TimeWellSpent said...

Take all the time you need! I'll still be here reading what you have a chance to write.
Prayers for the move and all that goes with that!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Not that you need it, but we give you permission to ease up on yourself. I hope you find a wonderful place in OH. I lived in Findlay, OH, for four years. It's near Bowling Green and Toledo.

Connie said...

My husband and I have been married almost 50 years and when we got married we moved to this house in the country and we still live in the same house as we did when we got married. Before we were married I lived about 2 1/2 miles from where we live now. I have always gone to the same church too.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live somewhere else but mostly I am very happy with my life. I hope that your move will go well and God will bless you richly in your new home.

LDH said...

I have been following your blog for a short time and enjoy your sweet posts. Blessings as you ready for your move to Ohio.
Kindly, ldh

lisasmith said...

angela--it's soooo good to hear your voice!! love and prayers during your move :)

sarah said...

had a good laugh over that song.

Jamie said...

Oh girl, I can so relate, I'm a real rule follower too! Looking forward to reading about what God has in store for you and your family.

Amanda said...

I am glad I stopped by to read this... I have been thinking about you and where you are, and I feel better knowing. You are such a cherished mentor... your words and faith are such an encouragement!!

Thanks so much~
Amanda

elizabeth embracing life said...

The good news is most recovering perfectionists are great at moving in an orderly manner, and praise God for a job for you husband and you really blog with a dictionary?

Julie said...

Angela,
I cannot imagine how hard it is to get rooted in to only be plucked out again to find a new home.. new church..new friends...new schools...etc...

But I know from your writing that God is revealing Himself to you in the midst.

May He prepare your every need fully before you even realize you have it.

I'm sad to see you leaving GA... but I know He has great things in store for you....

God go with you!

Carol said...

Bless you in your move! I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out again. I know God will go before you.

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