Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm OK...I'm Just Waiting...

"I have been deprived of peace;
       I have forgotten what prosperity is.
So I say, "My splendor is gone
       and all that I had hoped from the LORD."

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
       the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
       and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
       and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
       therefore I will wait for him."


The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
       to the one who seeks him;

It is good to wait quietly
       for the salvation of the LORD."

Lamentations 3: 17-26 NIV (Italics, mine)


What happens when one who blogs on a daily basis  suddenly drops out of sight for a few months, then returns for a time or two, then disappears again with the exception of a few sporadic reposts?

Said blogger recieves many kind e-mail messages asking her if she is OK.

And then said blogger makes things worse by not responding...I know...Not. Cool.

Here is a snippet into my life right now...I write this snippet not to complain or to vent, but rather to explain the cause of my extended absence.

Since our ten years of marriage, The Professor and I have lived in:

  • 10 different homes 
  • 8 different cities
  • 6 different states
The Professor has been employed in visiting positions in:

  • 5 different colleges/universities
  • 5 different cities
  • 4 different states

Our daughter is six-years-old and she has lived in:
  • 6 different homes
  • 6 different cities
  • 5 different states.
Our son is three-years-old and he has lived in:

  • 4 different homes
  • 4 different cities
  • 4 different states
We move...A lot. And through each move we have learned quite a bit about:
  • God's faithfulness and provision
  • Commitment to marriage and family
  • Our physical limitations
  • Our emotional limitations
  • The kindness of others
  • Various cultures
  • Creating, building and maintaining friendships
  • The consequences of living above our means
  • The struggle and joys that come with living within and below our means
  • What we truly need
  • How to start over...and then over...and then over again...repeat and rinse
There have also been many other valuable lessons along the way. In short, much good has come from the many moves. However, we also long for:

  • Stability
  • More time with the fabulous people we meet
  • A break from the chaos and economic strains of annual moving
  • More opportunities to serve the communities where we live
  • A hiatus from rejection  

 When we moved to our current city less than ten-months ago, we felt as though we had finally landed in the spot where we would plant our roots and grow for at least a few years. Yet once again we are most likely facing another move to an unknown (to us) destination. That's another aspect of our moves... we rarely know where we will go next until a month or so before we have to move.

In December we learned that the position my husband had here would not turn into a tenure track job and that it would end in May (it has ended). Currently he and I are both on the job market. There is a slight chance we could stay here for another year or so, but it is looking more likely that we will move to either the Washington DC area or to a capital in a state where we have friends and family close by.

Right now there are many unanswered questions and I feel as though I have various full-time jobs. I am:

  • A Mother
  • Responsible for running my household
  • A PTO volunteer
  • Conducting a multi-state job search
  • Trying to establish an on-line presence, which is vital for my line of work (Public Relations, Writing,Social Media)
  • Preparing for a massive yard sale and probable relocation

Again, I write all this just to share my heart and to explain what is going on in my life. I am quite aware of my many blessings and my heart is full of joy...but I am also learning that joy and sadness can mingle...it does not mean that I am a weak or pathetic Christian because my heart is breaking...it means that I know I need comfort that comes only from my Saviour.


Without a doubt I am confident that God will make this good. I am convinced that these experiences will draw me and my family closer to Him. And I am certain that my Father knows best and that His best will prevail.

Am I feeling overwhelmed and frazzled?
Yes

Weary?
You bet

Slightly irritated with the situation?

AB. SO. LOOT. LEE!


Hopeless? 
Not. A. Chance.


Thank you so very much for your love and concerned and for your willingness to keep stopping by this blog even though I rarely have something new to share. Please know that I am OK, but would appreciate your prayers.
I will keep you posted.


Cradled in His Palm,

Angela

This song by John Waller, "While I am Waiting" fills me with gratitude, hope and love.





24 comments:

Shelley said...

I understand blog hiatus and surfacing every so often...sometimes for me there is too much going on inside (or outside) to write. Thanks for your honesty, Angela. And thanks for saying that you miss my blog. That meant a lot to me. :)

Loretta said...

I was just thinking of you this morning and wondering how the job search was going. I am sorry you are having to do this yet again when it seemed you had landed in the perfect place. I wish I could tell on exactly what date and where you will find God's place for you, but I've found we usually only know we were there when we look back later. Most of all I pray for peace for you and your family as God whispers over you "Courage, dear heart."

asgoodadayasany said...

You've got yourself the skeleton of a longer work in this post! Hmmm.....I wonder what it'll turn into. :-) - MARILYN YOCUM

RefreshMom said...

I'll be praying with you Angela. The details are different, but I've been experiencing all those feelings over the past year too. I love how you summed things up that you can live with both the confidence in God's ultimate good for us as well as the frustration (and--gasp!--) dissatisfaction with the circumstances. You're right, it doesn't mean your faith is weak or you're failing to see God in the midst of it all.

I hope whatever comes next for you really does give you the desires of your heart.

Mary Hampton

Erin said...

I have lived in the same town my whole life so I cannot even imagine what it's like to move that much. I will be praying for you and your family. God is in control of things even when it looks like He isn't. He is the creator of the universe...he BREATHES planets for crying out loud...and He will take care of you (and me).

LOVE that John Waller song, too. Love it.

Erin

september said...

I've said this before but I'm so sorry for what you guys are going through. I've been there (regarding the uncertainty)and even now thinking back it makes me queasy. You'll get through this, and prayers that the next move will stick for a few years. This is why God gave you a social butterfly for a daughter--every new venue is just another place to show everyone how wonderful she is!


On a side note, any idea when you're thinking of moving? If you end up in DC I think I'm going to be doing a trip down there with the kids (Cori travels a lot all summer, so it'll just be the three of us) and it'd be great to get together.

fairweatherqueen said...

Thank you for being such an encouragement to all in your personal time of need. It is simply beautiful how He connects us with people who help us to identify our own purpose and struggle without our even realizing it. Thank you and be encouraged--we all face trials, which simply enable us to grow stronger in faith and lean harder on Him.

sara said...

oh my, you're plate is more than full. I have no words except "I am praying for you"!!!

Mocha with Linda said...

Wow. Bless your heart. I can't imagine how it would be to be in your shoes, but even worse would be not knowing God's peace and sovereignty, which is giving you peace in the wait.

Jewel said...

I love those verses!

Being one who's suffered from depression on and off and has realized that I'm just kind of prone to it, I love the verses that sort of give me permission to feel the bad, but encourage me not to stay there.

I'll pray He gets down to the deep in you and sheds the light of His grace. That sounds so Christian cliche, but I mean every word:)

Tara said...

We'll keep waiting with you. ((((((hugs))))))

Barbie said...

Thank you for sharing so honestly here. You my dear have gone through so much. Sometimes blogging just falls to the back burner as we tend to the more important issues of life. I will be praying for your family. God will see you through and He will continue to provide.

Joy Abbott @ Insane4Indo said...

In some ways I know how you feel. I have moved almost every year of my life. I have now moved more times than my age. It is never easy. But God has definitely used it in my life. Hang in there. Praying for you as you go through this time of not knowing and waiting....

Emily said...

Thank you for updating us! I've thought about you from time to time, wondering how you're doing. So sorry to hear you're leaving Ohio (so soon!). I love that song you posted - it gives me strength while dealing with my fertility issues post-pregnancy loss. I know God will give me my baby, but in the meantime, I need to focus on serving Him with all my being. It's a powerful song.

((hugs)) Keep us in the loop!

lisasmith said...

i've spent some weeks in Lamentations lately too... I've missed you, Angela. I'm praying for you today. xoxo

Sonya said...

Praying for you, Angela. If there's something I can do (search for jobs or whatever), I'd be happy to help.

Val said...

Thoughts & Prayers from me to you!

I understand...

A Big Bowl Of Cherries said...

Totally understood. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Much love and many blessings!
Jen

happyhome said...

We just recently went through four months of unemployment and the LORD was, as always, so incredibly faithful. Btw...love that song. I just posted it on my own blog a week or two ago. Praying for you as you wait.

Irritable Mother said...

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."
Yes! God is faithful and HE never moves away or changes or leaves us alone. Which is why we can be hopeful.
I'm sorry for your pain, but trusting with you that God will make something beautiful out of it.

Love you!

Holley Gerth said...

Thinking of you and praying for you this evening, dear Angela...Xoxo

Traci Michele said...

Wowza! You are busy girlfriend. But what HOPE and CONFIDENCE you have in our wonderful Savior!

Rebecca Ramsey said...

You've got me singing "Great is thy faithfulness!"
I love those verses.

Ronel Sidney said...

I miss reading your posts but I understand the feelings and have often thought of doing the same thing. Know that I am praying for you and your family. Your friend, Ronel

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