Have you noticed that there can exist both a positive and negative component in just about every personality trait? For instance, friendliness is a lovely attribute to possess, but problems can ensue if one is overly friendly...add naivety into the overly friendly batter and you have a dangerous concoction in the making.
A characteristic belonging to me that has brought forth both triumph and woe is my competitive spirit. I push myself hard. My adrenaline levels climb at Cheetah racing speeds when I'm presented with a challenge. When I commit to a project I strive to achieve the best results. And, I don't rig games of Candy Land just because my opponent is five.* Yep, I'm competitive alright.
When properly harnessed, my competitiveness can propel me toward great accomplishments like:
- Winning seven out of ten available scholarships that helped me pay for my college education
- Moving to Orlando, FL two weeks after college graduation with two suitcases, $500, and no job
- Remaining in Orlando after I lost my first job and lived on blueberry muffins and Cream of Wheat hot cereal for nine days when my checking account boasted only $1.27
- Walking up and down two flights of stairs (repeatedly) while 9 cm dilated in order to avoid a C-section
- Winning public relations awards within my first year in the field
On the flip side of my competitive coinage lies some not so pretty events:
- My husband refused to play Scrabble with me for five solid years because I got too nasty whenever his wooden letters landed on the triple word score square...especially when one or (shudder) more of those letters was worth 8 points. Hell hath no fury like a wordsmith outsmarted by her left-brained, former math majoring husband.
- On more than one occasion I disregarded the feelings of colleagues and dominated work and school projects to ensure that my ideas were implemented and praised.
- I once stayed up until 3:00 a.m. baking and decorating Christmas cookies so that everyone would oooh and ahh over my creations at a church social.
My competitive edge also has advantages and disadvantages when it comes to my writing. Throughout the past decade the quality of my writing has improved. That is a plus.
On the minus column is the fact that when it comes to blogging I have hit a wall built by my drive to out do myself each time I post. Yes, it is my heart's desire to write for God's glory and not my own...yet still I sometimes allow my perfectionistic tendencies grip control.
In an effort to break free from the rut I am currently in, I have decided to write more...yes, I still want to go for quality and of course I want to continue to grow closer to Christ and help others who share that journey, but not every post will be devotional in nature...not every post will have a lesson.
Every post will still be honest, transparent, and a documentation of my becoming.
I hope that you will keep reading.
* I am not always mean...I have allowed my kids to beat me at board games ocassionally.